No Meaner Place

December 14, 2009

“If you want to make a little money, write a book. If you want to make a lot of money, create a religion.” – L. Ron Hubbard

Filed under: Conversations With, Meyer, Pilots, Produced, Writers — Tags: , , , — Neely Swanson @ 5:09 pm

“I’ve been dead before”  – Spock  (”Star Trek VI”)

Orpheus by Nicholas Meyer

What: A college student, on a road trip to find himself, instead finds himself robbed of all possessions after an acid-laced rock concert and stranded in a small town in the middle of nowhere until he meets a mysterious girl who takes an intense interest in him.

Who: Guy Lawrence wakes up after a rock concert to find the field empty and all his possessions missing.  Making his way to a neighboring town, Guy meets the beautiful Sue Ellen, waitress at the local café, who kindly feeds and beds him.  He is entranced and decides to stay with Sue Ellen, abandoning the summer internship that had set up for him in Los Angeles prior to his return to Yale for his sophomore year.  Receiving word of his change in schedule worries his parents in New York.  Sue Ellen and Guy move to Seattle, where she begins to reveal her devotion to the “Temple of Grand Design” led by “Brother.”  Much of what Brother proselytizes makes a great deal of sense to Guy.

“There is no Grand Design – except the one you make of your own life.”

“There are no rules.  They’re just observations.  You either buy into them or you don’t.  It’s a free country – more or less.”

Although admonished to stay away from Galateans (the uninitiated), Sue Ellen is smitten and explains more of Grand Design to Guy.  Brother is known simply as Brother and Father, the leader, is known simply as Father; Grand Design is modeled on the idea of family.

Guy: This all sounds like…some kind of cult…

Sue Ellen: It’s a philosophy.  Anyway, what’s the difference between a cult and a religion…? I’ll tell you: numbers.  If twelve people believe something, they’re a cult; but if a hundred million believe the same thing, they’re a religion.

Guy: It just sounds so programmed…

Sue Ellen: We’re all programmed – from birth.  The trick is to write you own program.

Guy looks at her; she’s spoken the truth.

Or at least what the truth looks like to a 19 year old.  Recalled to NY on a ruse by his parents, Guy begins his year at Yale, but quits abruptly when he realizes that no one around him understands his new awareness.  His friend Barry who, in Guy’s view, had abandoned him during the summer picks up Guy’s copy of The Grand Design and begins to read.

Barry: “Nothing is important unless you SAY it’s important.”  What’s that supposed to mean?

Guy: You ever really watch TV?  It’s like a big mirror of the whole country.  We’re not citizens, we’re just consumers.  Our only culture is POP culture.  It’s all me-me-me-

Guy no longer sees himself in this Ivy League world and heads back to find Sue Ellen and join her at Grand Design.  As he attempts to make his way through the levels of GD consciousness, Sue Ellen’s rival, Karen, also has her eye on Guy; Brother turns on the charm and makes Guy a special project, advancing him quickly through several ranks.  Guy is being drawn further and further into the labyrinth. Guy’s brother Greg arrives to try to get him to return but their confrontation only serves to solidify Guy’s resolve even as he begins to have doubts.

No Meaner Place: “Orpheus” builds slowly, building character and background subtly and effectively.  In its way it is much like the celebrated but long forgotten short story by James Clavell entitled “The Children’s Story” in which a young teacher sent by the new Soviet captors has replaced the old classroom teacher and slowly but methodically, in the course of a very short morning, wins the hearts of her students and disables all their previously held, but not entirely understood, beliefs.  Vulnerability exists in all of us and within the right context our core beliefs can be shaken and sometimes dismantled.  This is the setting and premise of “Orpheus,” a thinly disguised Scientology society, but one that could be at the heart of any orthodoxy.

Guy is the perfect foil as he is intelligent, well-raised, thoughtful and at a stage in life where he questions everything. Meyer has set the stage for a “Manchurian Candidate” style brainwashing as Guy initially finds himself hungry, disoriented, abandoned, alone and in a strange place where he is seemingly offered unconditional love and comfort by a beautiful stranger.

There are so many possibilities here that the stories can go off in multiple directions. The philosophical basis of religion as personified by a society claiming to be anything but a religion and the hypocrisy of the leaders of this society that mirrors so many of the scandals of present day religious organizations will be microscopically examined.  Vulnerability, belief structure, rebellion, hypocrisy, roads taken and not taken – so many complex issues and so much to discover.

Alas, none of us will be able to discover any of these paths because this pilot was never picked up to series.  The filmed version, whether because of casting choices, directing choices, or network notes, was bland.  There was no edge, there was no sinister feeling, there was no tension; hence, there were no stakes and therefore very little story left.  Certainly the topic was always risky and the network should never have been in doubt about what the premise and long range plans were.  Something, however, happened along the way to make them lose faith in the intelligence of the project and the challenge to the audience – an audience that is almost always up for a challenge and hardly ever given one.  Meyer is such a gifted writer with such a diverse literary background that it is a major loss to have been denied his voice and vision.

Life Lessons for Writers:  As in polite society, stay away from religion and politics unless, of course, you’re writing a comedy, in which case stay away from religion and politics.  “Let them eat static” – Khan  (”Star Trek II”)

Conversation with Nick Meyer:

Neely: I’ve been a big fan of your work since seeing “The Seven-Per-Cent Solution,” the most interesting take on Sherlock Holmes yet produced; and I don’t expect the new version to overtake it, no matter what the hook.  You were the sole credited writer on your adaptation, with a director at the height of his career, Herbert Ross, and a cast that included Nicol Williamson, Robert Duvall, Laurence Olivier, Vanessa Redgrave and Alan Arkin as Freud.  I think there’s a good argument to be made that Nicol Williamson and Robert Duvall were the best pairing since Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. Did your involvement end with handing over the script or were you able to participate in the project once it started production?  Anyway you look at it, it was pretty heady stuff for someone so young.

Nick: It was like I was dreaming the whole time.  When Herbert Ross asked “what do you think of Olivier as Moriarity?” I had to sit and look normal. Olivier was my hero.  This is the only business where you get to shake hands with your dreams.  Six months later at Pinewood it all came to be.  I grew up idolizing him and seeing everything he had ever done.  In 1971, when I first came out to LA to try and write for a living, I saw the film he made of Chekov’s “Three Sisters”  and I wrote to him and told him how I much his work had meant to me over the years and to thank him for it. I offered to send him a copy of my forthcoming book (The Seven-Per-Cent Solution), quoting from The Taming of the Shrew, “too little payment for so great a debt.” I actually got a letter from him in return. I had the letter framed and still have it.  When I met him on set I reminded him of the letter but he didn’t remember.  I’ve found that it’s often more important to tell a person you admire them than for them to hear it.

I was invited to go to Pinewood and Vienna with the film.  I knew I wanted to direct and thought I’d learn by watching the production take shape.  Herb Ross was very courteous and gracious.  Because the dialogue of the script was so stylized and of the period Ross wanted me there for tweaks.  I watched everything and became a better screenwriter after I became a director.  I saw that “The Seven-Per-Cent Solution” movie had too many words and that, (to paraphrase Hilary Clinton, “knowing what I now know…”) I was in the editing room with Ross begging him to cut dialogue, which he wouldn’t do.  Can you imagine the writer begging the director to trim his script??

This was a very different situation than when I was working on “The Human Stain.”  I was completely shut out of the production.  Robert Benton, the director, didn’t want me there as he later explained, because he didn’t want to fight with me since he was making a different movie than the one I envisioned.

Neely: Following in the footsteps of other writers who wanted more control over their scripts, you were able to parlay your success into a writing/directing gig on the Sci Fi/Fantasy classic “Time After Time,” following it up by writing and directing what most people, myself included, consider to be the best Star Trek movie ever – “Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan.”  It’s another classic example of everything starts with a good script.  Can you give us some memorable details from that experience?  Actually, how did you get that assignment?

Nick: I’m really not a Sci/Fi fantasy guy but I have always been a fan of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells.  Movies are eye candy that Sci Fi promotes and you have to remember that candy isn’t good for you so you need to provide some nourishment.  I got assigned to direct Star Trek II after I met with Harve Bennett.  Five different scripts had been turned in for a second Star Trek feature and none of them did the trick.  After reading all five, I felt that there were some good elements in each and offered to try to cobble something together taking the best, most workable parts from each.  Harve  and his partner Bob Sallin were very enthusiastic but worried that unless we had a script within 12 days, ILM (George Lucas’ special FX house contracted to manufacture shots for the film) couldn’t guarantee delivery of said shots in time to for the film’s June opening.  I was so naïve that I didn’t realize that movies that had yet to be produced might already have opening dates slotted.  Somehow I got it done and we got started.

Working on that script I was inspired by the C.S. Forester Captain Hornblower novels, which chronicled the picaresque adventures of British navy captain during the Napoleonic Wars.   This would be Hornblower in outer space.  It was decided that Spock would be killed but when Paramount realized that there might actually be more life in this series, they made us change the ending in order to allow for Spock’s return.  When it came time for “Star Trek III” I didn’t do it because I don’t know how to do resurrections.  Harve came to me for help on “Star Trek IV” and they were my friends so I agreed.  Again there were script problems and it was four weeks before prep was to start.  It was going to have a “Time After Time” feel to it so Harve wrote the space parts and I wrote the earth parts.  I was unavailable for “Star Trek V” but was willing to do VI, which remains my favorite.  Because I had had a bad experience on my previous film, “Company Business,” I wanted to go where I liked everyone and get the bad taste out of my mouth.  Besides, I was told VI was going to be the last they would ever produce with the original cast.

The Aero in Santa Monica recently showed “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” and I was asked to speak.  The theater was packed and you feel like you’re with kids who like to hear the same story told over and over. I joshed with them: – “I told you on the DVD! I told you on the Special Edition!  I’ve told you on the Blu-Ray!” Like a prisoner under hot lights, the temptation to invent stories is enormous at that point.  Because eye witnesses are the least reliable witnesses, (according to cops and lawyers), I’m always afraid I’m going to wander off into something like “Rashomon,” where the same event is embroidered from several differing points of view. After all those repetitions, the temptation to vary the facts as I recall them and start imagining things instead of remembering them is very great.

Neely: I’m especially intrigued by a Merchant Ivory picture that you directed entitled “The Deceivers,” one of Pierce Brosnan’s first post “Remington Steele” starring roles. I have to confess that I’d never heard of it and even more intriguing is that I was under the impression that the Merchant Ivory group kept everything in house – directing, writing and producing.  How did that come about and what happened to that film?

Nick: Most of the time they kept everything in house but “The Deceivers” was intended to help them branch out from the drawing room films they were famous for.  The book was by John Masters, considered the poet laureate of the Indian Army.  Masters took historical events and incidents and turned them into a series of novels about Anglo-India, among them Bhowani Junction (also filmed) and The Nightrunners of Bengal.  My agent got me the job and it was going to be India and a cavalry charge – how could I say no?  It’s about a man who goes searching for the worst thing in the world and discovers he’s actually carrying it in his back pack.  Pierce Brosnan gives a great self-effacing performance.  He was fabulous.  He played an Englishman trying to infiltrate the Thug (Deceiver) Cult.  The film came and went.  I don’t know why.  Sometimes it’s the lack of money, like in the case of “Elegy,” and sometimes they just fail.  It’s too easy to blame marketing every time your film tanks.

Neely: And of course those were some of your earliest films. You also have the distinction of writing and producing one of the last films starring the Governator, “Collateral Damage.”

Nick: This is an interesting story.  My closest friend and editor, Ronald Roose, came up with the idea and wrote a script called “Prey” about a computer scientist who goes to the airport to pick up his wife and daughter, only to discover that their plane had been bombed by terrorists.  When he realizes our government is going to do nothing, he turns himself from a mild computer geek (think Tom Hanks), into this lethal character and makes his way to Libya to avenge them.  When we pitched it we said, “Remember, this isn’t Arnold Schwarzenegger.”  Five years later…it was.

Neely: I find it especially interesting that your career started by adapting your own novel and then writing several original screenplays.  But throughout your career you have written some marvelous adaptations – “Sommersby” (from the French film “The Return of Martin Guerre”), and most recently “The Human Stain” and “Elegy” both based on Philip Roth novels.  I’m intrigued that you seem to have become the go-to guy for Philip Roth adaptations.  As a matter of fact, the evening before this interview (by phone while I was in New York), my husband and I were eating in a tiny Italian restaurant near our hotel and who should walk in but Philip Roth! I went to his booth (so uncool but irresistible since he was alone) and told him I was a fan and that I was interviewing you, the screenplay adapter of two of his more recent books, the next day.  He was very polite and we shook hands and he didn’t flee the restaurant, so I guess it might come under the category of the fan needing to say it more than the artist needing to hear it.  So how did these adaptations come up?

Nick: My former agent Gary Lucchesi is now at Lakeshore Entertainment and he thought of me when Tom Rosenberg, who owns Lakeshore, decided to do The Human Stain.  They loved the original script which bears little resemblance to the finished product by the way.  Tom also wanted to do The Dying Animal, which stayed much closer to the script.  Using my “Saturday date night” gauge I was pretty sure we weren’t going to draw a lot of couples to a movie called The Dying Animal and suggested we change the title to “Elegy.”

Neely: I just read Roth’s Indignation and it’s right up your alley.  It explores some of the same themes you explored in “Orpheus.”  It’s an absolute natural for you.  Is there a different skill set involved in adaptation?  Do you have a preference?

Nick:  It’s very rare that I get an original idea that I really like, although occasionally I do get one that’s a doozy.  I’ve discovered that I’m a born recycler, not just of paper and garbage.  I like working material like it’s a Rubik’s cube – reworking, rethinking, redoing.  It’s what you owe to a great novel, story or play.  It’s also interesting what you can do with a bad one where you owe much less.  Handel was once accused of stealing someone’s tune and his answer was, “It’s true; he did not know what to do with it; I showed him.” Adapting material is a vastly different mental and aesthetic procedure.  You need to end up with “cinema.”  You want the viewer to understand it without having already read the book.  Think of the first “Harry Potter” movie versus “The Manchurian Candidate.”  The first Potter film doesn’t really make sense if you haven’t read the book but Manchurian Candidate thrills those who have never read the Condon novel on which it is based.  It is the desideratum. I felt this way the first time I saw David Lean’s “Oliver Twist.”  I loved it and it made me want to read the book.

Neely: You have quite a few interesting projects in development.  Are they all in development hell or do some have a chance of being greenlit?  Which of those projects is closest to your heart and what is it about?

Nick: “The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt” – Taylor Hackford has indicated an interest in directing it; also “Crook Factory” which was written for Johnny Depp; and a film about George Washington.  Unfortunately they’re about people and they’re dramas and the studios no longer do people and they don’t do dramas.  The business changed in 1974 with “The Godfather” and “Jaws.”  All of a sudden you could make huge profits from films and corporations began taking over the studios looking for those profits.  As the late Senator Everett Dirksen said, “A million here, a million there, and all of a sudden you’re talking real money”!

Neely: You have worked sporadically in television over the years, having done some MOWs and mini-series, including the iconic “The Day After.” But within the last few years you have written several scripts for series television, two of which were written for Scott Free, Ridley and Tony Scott’s company.  How did that collaboration come about?

Nick: I met David Zucker from Scott Free.  He’s absolutely brilliant at developing for television and we started working together.

Neely: I also noticed that of your four prospective series, three were about lawyers and the fourth, “Orpheus” has lawyers in the background, notably the family from whom Guy is trying to distance himself.  So what is it with all the lawyers?

Nick: Basically all one hour television is about cops, lawyers or doctors.  I couldn’t even begin to write about medicine but I thought I might be able to fake lawyering.

Neely: Which brings us to the topic at hand – “Orpheus.”  I fell in love with all the possibilities of what it could be, all the while recognizing how risky that would be.  Since this was under the “Scott Free” banner, how did they feel about the story and series possibilities?

Nick: Well, they got it.  We did a Bible of the story arcs and they commissioned me to write a second episode.  “Orpheus” was supposed to get stranger and more angular; instead it ended up very flat when filmed.  This was a cautionary tale of being careful of the directors you choose.  Being a good director isn’t the same as being congruent with the material.  I have enormous regard for the talent of Bruce Beresford, but like Benton, he didn’t get what I’d written (or intended).

Neely: Since Scott Free’s deal was with CBS, you were locked to that network.  Was there ever any consideration for taking it to cable?  Today it would seem to fit into what Showtime is trying to do.  What kind of notes did you get from CBS?

Nick: David (Zucker) still believes in it and is trying to sell it overseas or trying to find someone who’s interested enough to have it redone.  He’s never lost interest and still champions it.  I have to say that CBS was very supportive at the writing stage.  They saw it as a weird romantic story and they also wanted to do a story about a cult.  You mentioned Scientology in your analysis but this wasn’t intended to be any specific group or ideology.  I had read a book by Anthony Storr entitled Feet of Clay about gurus and guru worshippers and I was intrigued by the idea that when gurus end up leaving, it’s usually with a vengeance – think Freud and Jung or Jesus and Judas.

Neely: Do you think things would have turned out differently if you had directed it yourself?

Nick: I wanted to direct it but…would it have been more credible or successful?  Who knows?  I had stopped directing following the death of my wife in 1993.  I had small children to raise and could no longer direct because of being responsible for them.  When I was ready to go back, I’d been away too long.

Neely: As I said earlier, when I was reading the script again I was reminded of the recent Philip Roth novel entitled Indignation.  It’s about the choices made by a young man, the same age as Guy, (the central figure in “Orpheus”), and the consequences of those choices.  In some ways it’s also about the rigidity and righteousness of youth – something you hope your own kids will survive, as this rigidity, righteousness and the consequences are a rite of passage for all of us.  Guy has placed himself in a quagmire, vacillating between the hardness of a true believer and the doubts of a rational man.  What do you think happens to true believers who begin to doubt the organization that has “love bombed” them?  Do you know where Guy was ultimately headed?

Nick: Well, at the end of the pilot, Guy is being chased through the jungle by men with guns!

Neely: Are you definitively through with this project or could you reimagine it in either feature film or novel format?  It would make a hell of a read.

Nick: No, but I will now.

Neely: So what’s up next?

Nick: Six months from now?  Right now I’m working with some writers on a series based on “Time After Time;” and I’m thinking about The 7% Solution as a series; and there are other movie projects.

Neely: Any more novels?

Nick: Novel writing doesn’t pay the bills.  I wrote The Seven-Per-Cent Solution during the writers’ strike of 1972 and The View From the Bridge: Memories of Star Trek and a Life in Hollywood” during the WGA strike in January of 2009.

Neely: I just finished reading The View From the Bridge: Memories of Star Trek and a Life in Hollywood and highly recommend it to anyone interested in the film making process, “Star Trek” and your own voyage.  You’ve had a great career with more to come.  Any other thoughts?

Nick: Perseverance counts for a lot.  When people ask me for tips about penetrating this business I always tell them: Be prepared to put in a decade.  I am also reminded of a great Napoleon quote.  A general was once recommended to Napoleon who replied “I know he’s good, but is he lucky?”  I’ve also been lucky.

December 8, 2009

“You can’t go home again.” – Thomas Wolfe. “You can’t always get what you want.” – The Rolling Stones

Filed under: Conversations With, McLaughlin, Pilots, Pilots Spec Scripts, Writers — Tags: , — Neely Swanson @ 12:23 pm

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” – George Santayana.  Sometimes even those who do remember the past…

Hudson by Sarah McLaughlin

What: Anderson (f/k/a Andi) Barrett finds herself back home in small town Hudson, New York about to start a job as legal counsel to the Mayor’s office.  This is the place she where she was “…getting as far away from the boorish, unrefined, backward ass folk of Hudson as possible.”

Who: Anderson Barrett slinks back into her hometown after flaming out in Los Angeles where she was on the fast track to partnership in a prestigious law firm.  Very tight-lipped about her disaster in the big time, her former high school classmate Keira Smith, now her court-ordered rehab monitor, cajoles her into telling her story.

Keira: If you tell me I’ll tell you about my abortion in high school.

Anderson: Fine.  But no psycho-analyzing. I went to Vegas and gambled away twenty grand that belonged to a church I was doing pro-bono for.  In my defense I was so drunk I don’t remember anything except wearing a dress I knew my mother would disapprove of because she doesn’t think women over twenty-five should wear dresses above their knees.  Anyway, I got fired for breaking the law and avoided jail by going to rehab because I’m an alcoholic with a gambling addiction.   But the church choir is still getting their organ and jewel-toned robes because I volunteered to have my wages garnished until eternity. (beat) You had an abortion?

Keira: Oh, God no!  The only person who liked me in high school was Ms. Turk who coached field hockey.

Pulled into an emergency meeting on her first day at work, Anderson is brought in to help solve a public relations disaster that has befallen the Mayor.

Dennis: Good news, bad news.  Bad news first.  Stacey our town reporter will be running the following story in tomorrow’s paper:  “Ms. Tricia Pane was arrested Tuesday night in Hudson for possession of marijuana.  Blah blah blah, during a search of her vehicle, checks were found made out to cash from the mayor’s personal account.”…Tricia Pane is a hooker slash dominatrix, which leads me to believe Pane is not her real last name, although that would be pretty cool.  The checks are from before, during and after the cancer that killed the mayor’s wife.

Erika: Damn, the cancer had our favorables up to the highest any mayor this town has seen.

Dennis: Bye, bye old lady sympathy votes.

Erika: What’s the good news?

Dennis: Carolyn brought bagels.

Anderson advises the mayor to resign until she is informed that her job is through the mayor’s office and not the village, ergo the mayor is out, she’s out.  And add insult to injury, Anderson, ill informed and ill prepared, had argued the wrong side of a case in front of a judge that morning and referred to the party who filed the initial case as an idiot, not realizing that such “party” was the mayor.  One day in town and Anderson’s high school rival Duncan, Hudson’s Communications Director, has wagered fifty dollars that she’ll be gone by day’s end.

Au contraire, Anderson, with some able assistance from her new assistant (Duncan’s former assistant), uncovers the truth about the origins of the mayor’s checks (the origin of which goes under the category of no good deed goes unpunished) and finds a way that will allow him to clear his name, target the real culprit (his ne’er do well brother-in-law whom he had always protected at the behest of his beloved and now deceased wife), and help said brother-in-law back down the road to recovery; as well as finding a way to save the case she had tanked earlier in the day.  Reconnecting with family members and recognizing the renewing aspects of going home again put Anderson back on the slow road to recovery.

No Meaner Place: Sarah McLaughlin, a half hour comedy writer who has worked on  “What I Like About You” and “The 70’s Show,” has written a comedic character piece about being dragged kicking and screaming to a place she swore she would never return and gradually discovering its virtues.  This is not a particularly original theme, but the execution is very good and she finds ways of making the characters show more depth than would have been expected.  So much of this pilot, and presumably the future episodes, delve into the divergence of what we were versus what we now are – and all the insecurities associated therein.  McLaughlin has made the everlasting slings and arrows of high school into understandable angst and hilarity.

Sony was interested in the piece, but only if it could be turned into a half hour comedy with a star attached.

Life Lessons for Writers:  Write what you love, not what “they want” because “they” usually don’t know what they want.

Conversation with the Writer:

Neely: Sarah, you are a half hour writer at the beginning of your career and practically right out of the gate you come up with a terrific one hour comedy.  Where did this come from?

Sarah: I went home to my small town in New York for Thanksgiving three weeks after the Writers’ Strike had begun. I was hanging out with my best friend from high school who had never left and was now friends with all the “cool” kids from high school who had also never left.  She thought they were all really great and I thought they were all losers who had never moved out or on.  And the thought occurred to me – what would happen if the strike continued and I was forced to move back in with my parents. I suddenly realized that this is what Hell would look like.  Most of the humiliations that happen to Anderson in the script happened to me in one way or another and everyone still remembers them.

Neely: Who were your influences in writing and who helped you get your start?

Sarah: Getting started in the business, I first worked as Caroline Rhea’s personal assistant.  Then I got a job as a PA on a Wind Dancer show called “Soul Man” with Dan Ackroyd, and when that went down (fairly quickly) I got a writers’ assistant job on another Wind Dancer show entitled “Costello,” which also faded pretty quickly.  I then got on “The Norm Show” but wasn’t really happy there and left to work as a writers’ assistant on “Jesse,” after which I landed on “The 70’s Show.”  I came in contact with some great writers on those shows but I was really nurtured and taught by Jackie and Jeff Filgo and Mark Brazil on “The 70’s Show.”   They were the Showrunners who helped me get an agent and really get started.  They got me my first staff writing job on “The 80’s Show.”  After that went down I got a position on “What I Like About You” but I was really unhappy there.  When I let Jackie, Jeff and Mark know that things weren’t working out, it happened there was an opening and they were able to fit me onto the writing staff of “The 70s Show.”

Neely: What was your favorite experience on a show you worked on?

Sarah: In the 2000-2001 season of “The 70s Show” there was talk of a writers’ strike and Fox ordered 30 episodes so all the writers’ assistants got an episode assignment.  Because all the writers, and especially the Showrunners, were busy with their episodes I got to work with Bonnie and Terry Turner on my script.  Here were these two legends who had done “Wayne’s World,” “Coneheads,” and “The Brady Bunch Movie;” as well as “Third Rock from the Sun” and they were laughing at my jokes!  It was like a drug that I wanted more and more of.  I got to work on a Carsey Werner show with “The 70s Show” group – they were all like a family.  They knew how to delegate and trust people to do their jobs.  I learned leadership from their example.

Neely: Was “Hudson” your first pilot?

Sarah: The first pilot I sold was over at MTV. Paris Hilton’s ex fiancée had come up with an idea for an animated show where Paris would be a superhero.  They got Stan Lee’s company POW Entertainment to join the project and then went out looking for writers.  I pitched to them while Paris was in jail and they liked my idea so much that I had to re-pitch to Paris when she was released.  The idea was that Paris was a superhero and her superpower was dumb luck. Which is very much like her life – when a sex tape is released that would ruin some people she just got more popular.  And the show was her life in Hollywood, shopping, partying with celebs and solving crimes with dumb luck. Throughout the project I would get notes from Paris and learned about Celebrity Branding and the Paris Hilton “Brand,” which I didn’t know anything about, but was quickly brought up to speed about what was and wasn’t in line with her “Brand.”

Neely: Can you tell us how she defined her “Brand?”

Sarah: Paris defined her brand as on par with Oprah’s and Donald Trump.  Sophisticated, much sought after, much admired.  MTV saw Paris’s brand as silly, blonde and someone who likes to party and shop.  My job was to mitigate the discrepancy of those 2 polar opposites in the script.

Neely: Returning to the topic at hand, as “Hudson” was shopped, what kind of reaction did you get and what were some of the meetings like?

Sarah: My agents at the time, Endeavor, sent it out to various places and the reaction was really good.  They let me know that you really liked it.  Then, for whatever reason, Endeavor lost interest and it just sort of died.  I’ve changed agents and am now with APA.

Neely: Well, I’m going to tell you something that I hammer to my students.  It’s your project so take over and sell it.  It’s a wonderful script and a wonderful idea, so get APA to set up meetings and go pitch it yourself.  Nobody can sell your material better than you can.

Sarah: I hadn’t thought of it that way.  I’ve never pitched it myself.

Neely: No one knows these characters better than you do.  It’s sooo post high school (and believe me most of us never get over it) so you must have lived this. With whom do you identify the most and why?

Sarah: Well, like I said, this was my vision of what Hell would look like if I had to go back.  Of course I know all those characters and I lived those humiliations.  Anderson is me and Keira is my best friend Andrea.  Dennis is my Dad who always says things like “Dignity is like a top hat, wearing it is fine, albeit uncomfortable, but don’t try standing on it.”

Neely: What were you like in high school?  Have you gone to any high school reunions since you became a professional (i.e., getting paid for your work as opposed to keeping a diary or, god forbid, writing a blog) writer?  If yes, what was that experience like?

Sarah: I had bad skin and was chubby and did not know how to dress at all, but I was well liked with lots of energy even though everyone made fun of me. I went to Catholic elementary school and still have lots of Catholic guilt to deal with, but I still go to church. I just felt suffocated by the small town.  I’ve been to one reunion and I was the super star for having moved to Los Angeles and this was before I had a paying writer job!  I was voted class hottie, but that’s probably just because I’m the only one who left who didn’t just get fat.

Neely: Interestingly I understand that you were asked by Sony to rewrite “Hudson” as a half hour.  How did that occur?

Sarah: Endeavor sent it to Sony.  I had a blind script deal there and they thought maybe this would take care of it.  They put me together with Jamie Tarses who has an overall with Sony, and it was Jamie who thought it would make a great half hour.

Neely: What was your process in rethinking and repurposing the material?  Were you given specific notes about what they wanted the characters to be and what direction they wanted the show to go?

Sarah: My original idea for the show was “Gilmore Girl meets West Wing” but Sony didn’t want the show to be set in a political world like the mayor’s office. They also wanted the parents to be more present. In the hour long version, the parents are away when she arrives home and only show up in the end. Anderson had no idea they had gone to Alaska. This was to highlight that Anderson didn’t talk to them much. That was a true story about me. I flew to NY once to surprise my parents and they were on a trip out of the country for a month. But I talk to my parents; I don’t want to get any calls from them after they read this!   When I finished the script, Sony was  trying to get talent attached and approached Lauren Graham who passed.  Then they sort of got overwhelmed with taking other pitches out during pitching season this year and decided to send it out in January.

Neely: When you wrote “Hudson” as a one hour, did you have anyone in particular in mind for the main character?  What about for the half hour?

Sarah: I never write with anyone’s voice in mind because I’m afraid that it would interfere with the originality of the character.

Neely: Are you working on anything else?  What about staffing?

Sarah: I’m not staffed on anything at the moment but would love to be.  I’ve got a pitch that’s going to the Disney Channel and I’m developing a work place comedy.

Neely: I really look forward to following your career; you have a terrific voice.

Up Next:  “Orpheus” by Nicholas Meyer

In the meantime, check out my posting at baseline studio system:  http://www.blssresearch.com/research-wrap?detail/C6/branding_irons_in_the_fire

December 1, 2009

“A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants” – David Lloyd

Filed under: Conversations With, Pilots, Pilots Spec Scripts, Sutton, Writers — Tags: , , , — Neely Swanson @ 10:54 am

They say (whoever “they” are) that somewhere out there is your double.  What are the odds you’ll meet him?  About the same as being struck twice by lightning.

Two Dicks by Phoef Sutton

What: Dick Blubaugh meets his physical double, Richard Amundsen, in a low life roadside bar in New Mexico; and that is where the resemblance ends.

Who: Pulling into a biker bar in Bumf**k, New Mexico, Dick Blubaugh parks “his” Prius with the “My Child is an Honor Student at Jimmie Rodgers High School” bumper sticker and ambles in for a piss and a drink (in that order).  It is the bartender who is the first to notice the strange similarity between Dick and the guy standing next to him – they are identical (and, yes, as a boy Dick was struck twice by lightning).

Dick: So, they say that somewhere in the world there is an exact double of the every person.  Chalk one up for them.

Discovering that they have different birthdays, Dick remarks that they are not identical, but then Dick is also not a genius.

Other Guy: No.  We just look exactly the same.

Dick: Well, not exactly.

Other Guy: No?

Dick: That mole on your cheek.  I got mine on the other side.

Other Guy: You’re used to looking at yourself in a mirror, friend.  It’s on the same side.

Dick touches his face.

Darned if it isn’t.  Compounding the coincidence, the Other Guy, also driving a Prius, is named Richard, Richard Amundsen.  And it is here that the resemblance ends, as Richard is a college professor returning to his University from a year’s sabbatical; Dick is a petty criminal on the lam from something or someone.

Richard: My life, it seems perfect.  I get up, I teach stuff I already know, I can’t get fired ‘cause I have tenure.

Dick: What’s that?

Richard: It means I can’t get fired.  I go to parties, I go to functions, I have students who worship me.  But I’m all empty inside.

Dick: I got the opposite problem.  I got nothing.  Do you know where I’m going tomorrow?

Richard: No.

Dick: Neither do I.  I got no roots, I got no job.  I’m a blank slate.

Richard: You know something?  I envy you.

Dick: Envy is the sixth deadly sin.  Or the second, depending on how you Google it.  Trust me, I lead a lonely life.

Richard: You can be in the middle of a crowd and still be lonely.  Take it from me.

And so a deal with the Devil is made and Richard and Dick exchange lives after a few preliminary instructions on what to expect on the other end; and they go their separate ways – Richard down the road in a stolen Prius, seemingly without a care in the world; and Dick in Richard’s pristine Prius, off to a teaching job in Illinois where he will give new meaning to the Socratic method.

But of course there are unexpected consequences, which for Dick involve complicated love triangles and a dead body in the freezer of his new campus home; and for Richard it involves a bounty hunter and a pair of handcuffs.  As Richard so aptly put it:

I thought by trading Richard Amundsen in for a new name, I’d get a fresh start.  All my troubles would be over…What I didn’t count on was that every name carries its own troubles right along with it.

No Meaner Place: Although this pilot has made the rounds of the various studios and networks and brought deserved attention to the writer, no one has had enough vision to attempt a production.  Though clearly not a broadcast network project, surely it fits within the brand of one of the more progressive cable channels – Showtime, HBO, even USA and F/X come to mind.  The premise is smart, complex, ironic and hilarious.  Certainly in the past network execs were reluctant to mount a show with a seemingly unsympathetic character (and here we have two, even if they are the same – although Dick, at least, has a caddish, almost innocent charm, for someone with such a long rap sheet), but this is no longer true.  At the very least, Sutton has all the elements in place for farce – as each man’s attempt to remove himself from difficulties will, no doubt, result in fresh difficulties.  In its own way, this potential series is a down and dirty successor to “Frasier.”  This is fish-out-of-water to a new extreme and gives special meaning to the old adage “be careful what you wish for, it may come true.”

Life Lessons for Writers:  If they read the pilot and want you, you’ve won half the battle. After all, half a battle is better than none (or is that a loaf?) or maybe it isn’t.

Conversation with the Writer:

Neely: Phoef, I know before you began your television career you were a playwright.  How did you get started and what brought you into TV?

Phoef: I got started writing plays and acting in them in college.  I really liked the process of writing them and then seeing my work performed in front of people.  One of my plays was published by the Theater Communities Group in their “Plays in Progress” series.  My play “Burial Customs” was mounted several times, including at the University of Michigan.  When I moved to LA, my play “Thin Walls” was presented at the Back Alley Theater.

Neely: To digress a few minutes, this belongs to one of those “the world is small” moments because last Spring you and your wife Dawn came to dinner at our house and our other guests, Laura Zucker and Alan Miller, unbeknownst to me, were two of your oldest friends in LA. Laura and Alan who ran the Back Alley, gave you your debut in LA.  As I recall, Dawn was their accountant and you worked as stage manager.  Laura is now the Executive Director of the LA County Arts Commission and Alan continues to act.  You and I got to know each other on “Boston Legal,” but I was aware of you long before that as you had a rather famous career arc on “Cheers” going rapidly from Staff Writer to Showrunner in an 8 year span.  How did you land the original writing job?

Phoef: So I was a very happy stage manager at the Back Alley Theater making $100 a week when Dawn got pregnant and I realized that I needed to make more money, and fast.  Interestingly, I had written a spec “Newhart” script three years before and had sent it to Barbara Hall who I knew from college, but shortly after she and most of the rest of the staff left the show, so no one had read my script.  Now, here it was, almost three years later and I got a call from someone on “Newhart” that they had found my script and liked it.  So I thought maybe I could start the process again and sent it to Elliot Webb who looked at it again and liked it; he sent it to Heide Perlman at “Cheers,” who also liked it and asked to meet with me.  They didn’t have any staff jobs available but invited me to pitch some ideas.  After a couple of tries, they liked one of them and gave me a freelance script.  Then I got a couple of freelance assignments for a show called “All is Forgiven,” another Charles/Burrows/Charles production, followed by an assignment for “Mary,” the Mary Tyler Moore follow-up show.  I had made about $30,000 doing these scripts and I thought we were rich!  Well at least I thought so until I got a staff writer position on “Cheers” in the third or fourth year of the show (ed. Note: staff writers are paid very little their first year and any scripts they write that year are usually credited against their salaries).  I stayed for eight years and ran it the last four years.

Neely: Wasn’t the transition from theater to television difficult?  You were actually quite young when you started on “Cheers.”

Phoef: I may have been young when I started, but I had already been writing plays for five years before I got my job on “Cheers” so I actually had a great leg up.  Half hour multi-camera sitcom is essentially a play.  “Cheers” was a 2 act play with entrances, exits, stage directions; it was people talking and behaving and getting it across to the audience.

Neely: I’m sure there were lots of special moments on that show, but what immediately comes to mind?

Phoef: Working on that show was wonderful beyond belief; the whole experience.

Neely: Since that was the start of your successful writing career, who were some of the most important influences on you, both on and off that show.  Did you have a mentor?

Phoef: Les Charles, David Lee, Bob Ellison, Jerry Belson, David Isaacs, Ken Levine, David Angell, Peter Casey, Cheri and Bill Steinkellner – everyone had an Emmy.  Bill Steinkellner was an improv teacher and taught us in the writing room to just keep spouting ideas. As for a mentor…it’s always been difficult to be my…I never really…well if anyone was my mentor it was David Lloyd.

Neely: David Lloyd died about 2 weeks ago; I know you were just at his memorial service.  Please tell us something about him.

Phoef: Learning from David was like going to college at MTM.  David was a weekly consultant on “Cheers.”  He had a razor-like wit which was great as long as it wasn’t directed at you; he didn’t suffer fools.  He was like someone who would have been comfortable at the Algonquin Round Table.  He always worked on a typewriter and he never took notes when he was pitched ideas for the stories he would write.  He’d just listen and then go off and two hours later he’d have the outline.  If you were unlucky enough to have to rewrite his stuff, he made your life a living hell, although he never held a grudge; but most of his scripts didn’t have to be touched — they were just that good.  And when you were in trouble on somebody else’s script he could fix it.   He’d just pitch out a whole act and you’d sit there and marvel at it and try to get it down verbatim.  David never had an agent; he always did his own negotiating – in the third person.  He’d come in and say “David Lloyd needs this” or “I’ll discuss it with David Lloyd.”  Later on in the run he decided that he wouldn’t work past sundown…and he didn’t; he’d go home.  He was unique and amazing.

Neely: Of course you’ve done a lot of other things; including but not limited to (that pesky Business Affairs background keeps getting in my way) developing the British show “Coupling” for American T.V., writing a series for Bob Newhart, and are credited with several screenplays, most notably “The Fan.”   Which projects in your post-“Cheers” career stand out to you, and why?

Phoef: My absolute favorite was a show I created called “Thanks.”  It was a period piece involving Pilgrims who’ve just arrived in the New World and starred Tim Dutton, Jim Rash and Cloris Leachman, among others.  I got to do anything I wanted because the network execs couldn’t figure out what to say or what notes to give.  When people have said to me that they couldn’t believe that the network cancelled it after 6 episodes, I say I was amazed that they actually ran 6 episodes.  It was truly a joy to go in and work on that show.

Neely: Just as a side note, Tim was hired on “Ally McBeal” based on his work on “Thanks.”

Phoef: Sarah Vowell has championed that show in her book on the Pilgrims, THE WORDY SHIPMATES.  And she talks about it all the time on NPR – she’s kind of a one-woman cult, and I really appreciate it.

Neely: What about your features – “Mrs. Winterbourne,” “The Fan” and “Analyze This?”

Phoef: I am credited on “Mrs. Winterbourne” and “The Fan,” but I don’t think I got screen credit on “Analyze This;” I also worked but didn’t get credit on “Men in Black” and “High Fidelity.”  In screenwriting you just never meet the other collaborators.  It’s a very solitary life and you often don’t get credit on the things you write.  They just keep passing the script from person to person and sometimes it ends up being passed back to you again.

Neely: Let’s talk about “Two Dicks.”  When I mentioned to you that I wanted to write about your unproduced pilot called “The Impastors,” (which, by the way, I still love and reserve my right [again with the Business Affairs] to write about it at some future date) you mentioned this pilot.  Intriguingly you said that it had gotten you lots of work but that the project itself was always declined.  Any thoughts?

Phoef: With “Two Dicks” I woke up one morning with the idea and wrote it in a week; the first time that ever happened to me.  I sent it to my agent and he loved it; he sent it out and everyone loved it but no one would make it.  I see it as a Film Noir sitcom.  Maybe one of the problems is that it is serialized.  We almost had it set up at Fox.  The exec said “This is great!  Let me think about it over the weekend.”  We were sure we had it sold until the next Monday morning.  It’s made the cable rounds without luck.  It’s a huge disappointment.  The show doesn’t have a defined path which is wonderful in the execution but scary as hell for a network executive.  I saw it sort of as a parody of a “Lost” or “Flash Forward” type show.  There would be a new revelation behind every door.  I’ve always been a fan of the Raymond Chandler quote:   “When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.” I think of that whenever I’m stuck in the story.

Neely: Could there still be a cable home for this show?

Phoef: Well, unencumbered by any trace of success, it may still have hope.

Neely: Are you more Richard or more Dick?

Phoef: Definitely Dick.  Richard is darker and I don’t trust him.

Neely: In 2005 you made the jump to one hour drama with “Boston Legal.”  How big a leap was that and what were the challenges?

Phoef: Well I’d already done some features and I’d written several one hour pilots.  I didn’t find it to be that different.  The legal stuff took a lot of research and I needed to learn to write in David Kelley’s voice.  I loved writing the balcony scenes.

Neely: After “Boston Legal” you worked on a show called “Valentine” that had a very interesting business model – one that ultimately failed, but interesting none the less.  The show was produced by Media Rights Capital which, simplistically put, basically bought out Sunday night from the CW in exchange for the bulk of the advertising revenue.  I thought the strategy was brilliant, but I think they failed because they didn’t have the proper financial controls in place.  The two shows produced under this system were way too expensive to allow for break-even, let alone profit.  Did you feel any difference in working for a show under this new model?

Phoef: Well it did sound like a great idea.  But by the time we had written and produced 6 episodes and were ready to premiere, MRC had run through all of their money so there was no marketing and there was no way to even find out that we were on TV.  They ran out of money and that was the end.

Neely: What are you working on now?  Got any new pilots?

Phoef: I’m working on “Terriers” for F/X.  It’s the show that Ted Griffin (”Oceans Eleven”) wrote for Shawn Ryan’s company.  Shawn is a really good showrunner.  I’m in the outline phase of my episode (and I should get back to it).  I’m also doing a half hour pilot for ABC with Rob Long.  I was Rob’s first boss when he started as a staff writer on “Cheers.”  Rosie Perez is attached to the pilot and everything’s going well so far.

Neely: You’ve been at this for some time.  Has anything changed?

Phoef: When I started, I knew it would be hard to break in; I didn’t realize that I’d have to continue to break in.  You can’t coast.  In Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, he explains that to be really good at something you have to work 10,000 hours at it and he gave many examples of people who had done that like Bill Gates.  In television comedy they don’t want that experience.  They think that someone who has written a script can run a show. They think young and inexperienced is better.  Networks now have to approve everyone on the writing staff and they make sure that there isn’t more than one “old” guy.  I’m not sure they would ever have approved me.

Neely: Over the years, have you continued to write plays?

Phoef: No.  The average person doesn’t go to plays and I’m not interested in writing for the intellectuals.  When I was in the theater and a young actor, everyone was always talking about the Theater with a capital T and hating TV.  I always thought about Chuckles the Clown (a character on the original Mary Tyler Moore Show) and reaching a wider audience.  In “Chuckles Bites the Dust,” one of David Lloyd’s Emmy-winning episodes for the series, David wrote the best eulogy ever – “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.”  I like writing for television.

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